10 Steps to Becoming an Euroblogger

EU. Eternal love affair for East Europeans. I was just reading some analyses about region’s post-crisis perspectives and realized how much in fact I post about EU on Ad Astra Per Aspera, which was actually originally created to cover Georgian and Caucasian issues. Did I turn to EU-blogger or something? well, not really, however I know few who have such attempts. Guess following post will be very useful for them.

This hilarious post concerning the 10 simple steps to becoming an Euroblogger, was published  last year at Julien Frisch. I kept it in my internet browser bookmarks. Time to share, Enjoy:

photo from European Geostrategy.

1. You need to become crazy.

If you are not crazy yet, start reading the consolidated Lisbon Treaty from the first to the large page. If you finished reading and you are still not crazy, please apply for a job in one of the EU institutions.

2. You need to make the first and most important choice.

If you finished reading the Lisbon Treaty, you think it is crap and you don’t like the EU because of that, you need to call yourself a “eurosceptic”. If you think it is crap and you still like the EU you are now called “federalist”. As a Euroblogger you will belong in one of the two categories, and officially there is nothing in between.

3. You need a good name.

If you are lucky, you already have a good name or nickname that is easy to remember. If not, invent something. And since you are crazy, don’t hesitate to think of really strange animals when choosing your nickname.

4. You need to write a first post.

It doesn’t matter what you write, just use “Europe” and “EU” several times, first in the title and then in the text. Since normal bloggers don’t use these terms you will be clearly identified as a Euroblogger. Be aware that from now on you are an outcast in the general blogosphere.
5. You need to get the attention of other eurobloggers.

The easiest way is to start at bloggingportal.eu. Go to every post that appears there and comment on anything you read. Eurobloggers don’t get many comments, so they are glad about anyone coming their blogs. By commenting, you are telling them that there is at least one person interested, and they will thankfully go to your site, see that you used “Europe” and “EU” in your first post and add your RSS-feed to their feed readers.

6. You need to write a second post.

Since you are now recognised as a euroblogger by the community, you need to show your web 2.0 competence. So write anything that combines “EU” and “2.0”, “Twitter” and a Youtube video. Since 95% of eurobloggers organise their life around new communication tools, you will now be seen as a euroblogger who is also a tech geek – which means that you are now formally part of the club.

7. You need to get a Twitter account.

You cannot write a euroblog without using Twitter these days. If you don’t have one yet, get one. Follow all the eurobloggers who will also follow you. Then find one MEP from your country on Twitter and retweet every second message s/he writes. Then discuss with other Eurobloggers on Twitter the added value of Twitter for European democracy. Retweet most of what the others are saying. Then address the MEP with an @-message and ask what s/he thinks about the latest Barroso press conference. If s/he doesn’t react, write a blog post about how European politicians have not understood the idea of Web 2.0.

8. You need to comment on an important European event.

The added value of euroblogs is that they comment on important European events, i.e. those events that even the national media notice. Having an opinion on these events and writing excessively long posts on EU-related topics everyone understands will finally bring 20 readers (from the US) via Google. So wait until an important referendum, European elections, or a huge corruption scandal and then voice your anger in your blog. Since all eurobloggers write about it, you will be quoted at least twice, bringing 20 more readers (from Brussels) to your blog.

9. You need to write on Twitter that you wrote a blog post about an important event.

If you don’t write about your blog posts on Twitter, you show that you don’t think you are important enough. So tell your followers that you have blogged. You will start realising that from now on you don’t only care how many people read your blog post but how many of the other eurobloggers retweet your tweet on your blog post. Over the next 60 minutes, you will get 10 extra readers on your blog and two new Twitter followers (one of them will be called Mary Lu and her last tweet links to a porn site).

10. You need to repeat steps 4-9 for three months.

If you don’t get frustrated by self-referential and repeating discussions with a small number of like-minded people, if you don’t get fed up with boring sources, and if you can draw your motivation to blog out the same 10 people commenting your posts all the time for more than three months, you will be an established euroblogger. After six more months, you will get a comment from an EU Commissioner and some people will start calling you “guru”. You will know that this is becoming crazy – and then you realise that this is how everything started (see step 1).

Well, from my part, I would suggest to create a Facebook page for your blog. Lots of bloggers do that. not me though.


2 thoughts on “10 Steps to Becoming an Euroblogger

    • so you read the Lisbon Treaty from the first to the large page, think its crap but still in love with EU? boy, you should be a true EUphile 😀 I dedicate this post to you 😀

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